Food for Thought Life

I think of my thoughts like food. Some are fresh and green like kale or lettuce picked from organic farms and washed off in my kitchen sink then eaten raw. These thoughts are cleansing and go something like "my faith is caramelizing" "allow what's rich to become richer", or "not all in one day, but one day". They reveal a personal green chef living in my mind, serving me dishes of thoughts that make me feel light and capable. But Betty Crocker also lives in my head, and the Pillsbury Doughboy and Aunt Jemima and they all want to try out their recipes on me throughout the day. These thoughts are the distracting ones, they go something like "she doesn't really see me", or "he didn't look me in the eyes when he said goodbye, does this mean he is not really in love with me?" or "what if i cant support myself 5 years from now? where will i live?" These happen to show up when I've been running after a goal, sort of like being on a treadmill for 10mins of warm-up and you're about to enter the real work out, then a tiny little cupcake appears at your side that you only see because you looked down for a quick drink of water. I could be trying to finish a story, planning for graduate school, meditating on Oneness--and a single, vanilla flavored lemon-iced cupcake appears on a plate small enough for it to look like a very simple and quick bite of sweetness and nothing more.

After I've devoured an entire platter of distractions, sometimes even licking the residual icing off the plate, the slug in every one of those bites I took is collecting sluggishness in my bloodstream. And then it happens, my arms start to fall and my rigor wanes, the gluconic build-up of distractions collects into prior consumed distracting thoughts and I'm now feeling heavy and drugged. I tell myself I have to stop before I collapse, then and I go lie down in order to collapse. It's true. When I engage in distracting thoughts they absorb my energy and leave me feeling like all my running towards my goals has instead become running in circles around the distractions in my mind.

I've learned there are a couple ways to look at this. One, in the same manner that eating healthy as a way of life requires definitive choice-making and discipline, so does having a nurtured, life-bearing thought life. It's a choice to think green! Meaning, when you plant seeds in your mind from sources that provide wisdom and serenity, this is exactly what you will harvest in your thought life. These sources come in the form of books on knowing thy self, and understanding the power of your mindlife. I'm not one to give titles because these books will find you once you initiate, in your mind, the desire to be fed this knowledge. People are also sources--stay close to those who are good soil, who challenge you to be your best which requires choosing your highest attitude and perspective towards Life. Know that everyone possesses this consciousness of what their highest good is. Make this knowing yours by first knowing you have it!

For the distracting thoughts, I realize it's when I want to take a break from moving towards manifesting an ambition that they appear the majority of the time. You know you've found yourself on your path doing what you feel you are meant to do/what you desire to do (the place of highest good), and somehow you have begun to wonder about your relationship with your mother, or your partner or your finances, or your career. These are different distractions than suddenly wanting a hot bath, or sex, or Red Bamboo's orange chicken entree. I think the Betty Crockers and doughboys we live with in our minds, the places of worry, doubt, and fear that we on some level find comfort in retreating to begin baking and presenting their treats when we're looking for some form of escape from the Now, especially if the Now is requiring our disciplined focus. I believe it's not so much that a break from the pursuit of our highest good is desired as it is a variation from the one motion of moving forward.

The effort to obtain anything we are reaching for usually means unwavered action. For example, in order for me to complete this blog entry I have to stay at my desk in front of my computer for the amount of time it takes to think through and compose this entry. This is me exercising my passion (writing) as well as one of my perceived purposes (using metaphors to present understanding of Self), but its 11:26pm and I've been writing since 630 and I want to lie next to my boyfriend whose sleep in bed behind me and fall into a dream about flying. I feel a lot of times staying on our path, treadmill, yellow brick road, whichever works for you, demands a consistent level of focus that feels humanly impossible. It's not. It is, however, a matter of weighing the fact that you are human with a purpose, not a machine with a purpose. So choose your distractions. Yup! When you feel a desire for a bit of a change of focus coming on accept it, then choose whether it will be worry, doubts, fears or a prayer, one walk around the block, a phone call, or a check-in with email. I'm not so much encouraging distraction as I am advocating consciousness. If you are indulging in a diversion you are more likely to not consume every diversion that presents itself. You are also more likely to return to your path sooner when you are fully admitting that you are taking a step away from it. For me, its sometimes a cold glass of orange juice then a trip to the restroom and I'm back! The overall goal is to keep control of your mind, whether you're running with it or letting it rest. There are so many paths it can take. Just make sure that you're not only Present there with it but that you are choosing where it goes. Ashe. Amen. So it is.